When my boyfriend asked me to move in with him last spring I was obviously extremely excited but because I tend to be a little bit of a worrier my mind also jumped to all the things that could go wrong. What if we couldn't live together and ended up fighting over dumb things like taking out the trash all the time? How could I possibly make my first apartment look how I wanted it to if I had to compromise with a guy's style?
I quickly gave myself a reality check and decided to focus on the good parts of the experience while we started the hunt for our apartment. We talked at length about what we wanted (a decent sized one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn with lots of light) and luckily we found the perfect place by mid October. Though we were psyched to have found a home we also needed to start from scratch when it came to filling the apartment with our living necessities. I'm talking couches, television, bed, etc. It was overwhelming, not only because of the expense (which was sizable) but also because there were so many choices and we needed to find away to merge our individual styles.
It was a long and sometimes frustrating process but we managed to make our home one that we're both happy with so I thought I'd share some tips on how we got there.
I quickly gave myself a reality check and decided to focus on the good parts of the experience while we started the hunt for our apartment. We talked at length about what we wanted (a decent sized one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn with lots of light) and luckily we found the perfect place by mid October. Though we were psyched to have found a home we also needed to start from scratch when it came to filling the apartment with our living necessities. I'm talking couches, television, bed, etc. It was overwhelming, not only because of the expense (which was sizable) but also because there were so many choices and we needed to find away to merge our individual styles.
It was a long and sometimes frustrating process but we managed to make our home one that we're both happy with so I thought I'd share some tips on how we got there.
Our first celebratory glass of champagne in the new apartment
Stay Neutral
I'm talking colors here people, not opinions. You should definitely speak up about what you want but also listen to what your significant other wants. That's the only way you're both going to be happy while reaching a common ground. One of the ways we did this was sticking to a pretty neutral color pallet off the bat. We kept our base colors as beige and white to go with our warm wooden furniture and added pops of blue with some of the accessories in the room. It made the space look bright and fresh without being too feminine. I recommend picking a neutral color you can both agree on (whether it be black, white, gray, etc.) and then add a little color from there. If you can't completely agree on a color combination maybe try the one you like in the bedroom and let your significant other pick the colors in the living room (or vise versa),
Accept their stuff
It's important to bring things with you that will make a new place feel like your home. Whether it be his baseball plaque from high school or your semi frilly crochet throw blanket, you both need to bring things with you from your previous space. Unfortunately, you may not think the other person's stuff goes with your overall decor. To be honest the only way to solve this problem is some compromise, You need to go into this conversation realizing that number one, you're not going to love everything he wants to put up and he's not going to love everything you bring either. Number two, understand that loving this person is accepting everything they love too (even if you're not a fan).
Your apartment is not going to look like a page from Elle Decor, but honestly why would you want it to? It's not going to feel like home unless there are parts of both of you present in how you decorate. So work together to put things in a place that allows them to be displayed in a stylish way. For instance, my boyfriend brought several bobble heads (which kind of creep me out) and a Rock Em' Sock Em' Robot game that he had on display in his bedroom at his parents house. Obviously, this didn't go with the sophisticated adult apartment I was picturing in my head. However, I realized that it did fit with us. We're both big sports fans and we love board games. So instead of storing away the stuff that he loved in a closet somewhere we put it on display by making a game collection above our china cabinet. Now the robots and bobble heads are displayed along with the rest of our board games, decks of cards and a basket of beer cozies we've collected. When we have guests over they know exactly where to go for all the fun stuff and the area gives the apartment some personality.
Your apartment is not going to look like a page from Elle Decor, but honestly why would you want it to? It's not going to feel like home unless there are parts of both of you present in how you decorate. So work together to put things in a place that allows them to be displayed in a stylish way. For instance, my boyfriend brought several bobble heads (which kind of creep me out) and a Rock Em' Sock Em' Robot game that he had on display in his bedroom at his parents house. Obviously, this didn't go with the sophisticated adult apartment I was picturing in my head. However, I realized that it did fit with us. We're both big sports fans and we love board games. So instead of storing away the stuff that he loved in a closet somewhere we put it on display by making a game collection above our china cabinet. Now the robots and bobble heads are displayed along with the rest of our board games, decks of cards and a basket of beer cozies we've collected. When we have guests over they know exactly where to go for all the fun stuff and the area gives the apartment some personality.
Photo cred: Revelation House
Work with what you've got
A lot of the furniture we're using in the apartment now was given to us by family and friends when we moved in. Though it would have been nice to buy everything brand new on our own, having some things decided for you actually helps ease the decorating process. I mentioned earlier that our pop of color in the living room was blue. This is mostly because the couches my parents gave us had dark blue cushions and warm wood trim. This gave us a starting point so we ended up using a lot of beige but also worked some teal and dark blue into the details which makes the space more interesting. There wasn't really room for argument over what color to use because we had to work around what was already there.
Shop together to stay together
I remember when my friends started moving in with their significant others and having conversations about the process of buying everything you need for a new home. I was really surprised at how many of them said they did a lot of shopping on their own or with their moms instead of going with the person they would actually be living with. How could they possibly make decisions about what was going in their mutual space with only one person's opinion?
I knew right off the bat that wasn't an approach that would work for me. So my boyfriend and I carved out plenty of time to go shopping (both in store and online) together. We decided on every item together so that neither of us felt like the other one was taking over. Sometimes we found that one person really didn't have an opinion either way on something so we went with what the other person wanted. Other times we disagreed on what we should get and had to find common ground. The point was we were doing it together and creating a home that was both of ours.
I knew right off the bat that wasn't an approach that would work for me. So my boyfriend and I carved out plenty of time to go shopping (both in store and online) together. We decided on every item together so that neither of us felt like the other one was taking over. Sometimes we found that one person really didn't have an opinion either way on something so we went with what the other person wanted. Other times we disagreed on what we should get and had to find common ground. The point was we were doing it together and creating a home that was both of ours.
Make a space that's all yours
No matter how small your apartment or house is there's always enough room to carve out a small space of your own. For my boyfriend and I this space is our night tables. We each have matching tables on either side of the bed with matching lamps but other than that they're completely different. As you can see above mine is covered with girly trinkets and flowers while his is pretty much bare except for video game controllers and a humidifier. It might be small but it's nice to have one space that's just all yours when you're living with someone else.